You’ve designated the individuals who’ll serve as spiritual guides and roles models for your child. You want to acknowledge this special relationship among loved ones, and mark the event in a symbolic way. But you wish to keep it areligious. Ah, you’ve come to the right place. As inspired by and adapted from Alix Steel’s beautiful essay, “Guideparents, Not Godparents,” here are some tips for you to choose and pick from for holding your very own guideparent ceremony.

1. Hold it someplace special to you.

This could be a park, your home or a favorite restaurant.

2. Invite your closest friends and relatives.

These are the people whom you count on and whom your child will consider second family.

3. Choose a meaningful officiant.

Consider someone who knows you well and understands the significance of the ceremony.

4. Recognize the guideparents.

They’re selected to serve as mentors/spiritual guides/positive influences on your children so make them known!

5. Incorporate guideparent vows into the ceremony.

This can be as simple as, “I promise to love and support (name).”

6. Include the others guests in the ceremony.

Have them recite group vows such as, “I will help you in this life, you can turn to me when you need me and we pledge to love you.”

7. Celebrate!

With food and drink, music and poetry and anything else that tickles your fancy!

8. Lastly, bask in the occasion.

Remember, this is a chance to celebrate your child and the special relationships he or she will forge with the people meaningful in your life. Your family has grown and that kind of love is priceless.

Congratulations — you’ve held a guideparent ceremony.