The week of July 4, 2015 was: falling in love with Stephen Colbert and Eminen on Michigan public access, obviously; watching the internet tweak out over Rihanna’s new video; and being deeply disturbed by Taco Bell, but what else is new. Oh, and being pretty glad that this woman’s week was NOT our week.
Happy America, everybody! May your BBQs be filled with galbi and not-overboiled-potato salad. And lots of pea-less guacamole.

Amy is the Angry Reader of the Week! 

Mash-Ups in the News:

A Disturbing Trend Among Chinese “Parachute” Children

So parachute children are Chinese kids who are sent alone to the U.S. to get a headstart on college. Apparently being a teenager in a foreign country without supervision might lead to beating your classmate and burning her nipples with cigarettes. WTF.

via LA Times

America’s “Postracial” Fantasy

The brilliant Anna Holmes writes about living outside the box. “Being — or appearing — biracial is a real Rorschach test with regard to how our ideas about race have evolved. For every person who hardly bats an eye at the idea of a light-skinned biracial woman identifying as African-American, there’s another person waiting to inform her that she doesn’t ‘look very black’  or that she is not actually black at all.”

via NY Times

The Rise of Illionaire Records, Korea’s Own Hip Hop

The story of how a few Korean dudes are taking the world by storm.

via Complex

Sonia Manzano, Sesame Street’s Maria, to Retire After 44 Years

Maria! We loved you and Luis and we loved seeing ourselves reflected on TV since childhood. Also, you and Oscar had something going on…’fess up.

via AV Club

Thanks to Louboutin, Now We Can All Wear Nude

Yassssss. Nude heels make your legs look great, especially when they are the same color as your skin. Louboutin launched a new line of heels in all kinds of nude. Now we just have to get better at walking on 4 inch stilettos.

via Fusion

Want to be Attractive to Online Daters? Be Biracial

Speaking of “postracial”: we all swipe right on biracial people, because we project whatever we want on to them. Unsurprisingly, Asian-White women get the most swipes. Sigh.

via Washington Post

The Reality of Asian-American Academic Pressure: The Story of Sara Kim, “Genius Girl”

This kid is clearly brilliant in that she invented an entire bidding war between Stanford and Harvard for her admission and forged all the documentation. Amazing, and also sad.

via CNN

Thank You, Donald Trump!

America Ferrara thanks Trump for getting Latinos motivated to vote. Also, Trump: we’re gonna keep speaking Spanish, so sit down. Now off to Mexico to get ourselves a piñata.

via Huffington Post

Univision Announces IPO Plan

Speaking of Donald Trump, he should be mourning his break-up with Univision, now valued at $20 billion.

via CNN

What Abigail Fisher’s Affirmative Action Case Was Really About

This case will explode your mind. Fascinating explainer of the strategies behind Supreme Court cases.

via ProPublica

The CIA Is Not Committed to Diversity, Reports the CIA

“A lack of diversity of thought and experience was identified by congressional committees and independent commissions as contributing to past intelligence failures.” What what.

via Vice

What I Learned from Leading Tours About Slavery at a Plantation

Um, no, slaveowners were not “taking care” of slaves because they cared about them.

via Vox

Want to Play Geisha? No Problem, Head to Boston

Dear Boston MFA, please do not invite people to come to the museum and dress up like geishas. Maybe you can ask one of the many experts of your extensive Asian art collection why this is so incredibly offensive. Love, America.

via Angry Asian Man

NIcholas Winton, Who Rescued 669 Children from Holocaust, Dies at 106

Because some people are heroes and we should all know their stories.

via NY Times

CNN Mistakes Dildos for ISIS, Because CNN

Some brilliant Brits made a fake ISIS flag with dildos instead of Arabic script for gay pride. CNN thought it was real. Journalism FTW.

via Telegraph